So King David wrote laments and had very real times in his life to decompress with his Father in heaven (see previous post). But that’s not all he did to get through the funk.
David was sometimes alone, that is, until he created community. David built friendship with Jonathan, David built community with his “mighty men,” many of whom were comprised of people in distress. (1 Samuel 22:2)
David was under more stress than most of us: hiding in caves, running from a murderous lunatic, a potential battle lurking around every corner. But he started to surround himself with people, the kind of people who knew they didn’t have everything perfect and put together in their lives. He surrounded himself with the kind of people who would be honest about themselves and about him.
He needed those alone times with the Father; those times to be heard and known by God alone. But he, like we, needed times to be known, seen, affirmed, reassured, challenged, and built up by the right kinds of people in his life.
Last night I was exhausted from a long day of work, full of ups and downs. But most Wednesday evenings is the night of my guys group. We hang out and decompress, we check in with what is really going on in our lives, we don’t keep secrets, we affirm each other, challenge each other, and then we pray. We’ve been doing that for years.
I didn’t want to go last night (sorry guys) because I was just tired and busy. But I went and I am a better man, a more centered and joyful and fulfilled man today because of it.
If you want to get out of the funk, you need a group. You need friends. Not just friends who will talk shop and talk stuff and present their good sides to one another. We need friends who know they and we don’t have it all together. We don’t need pretty friends, we need imperfect friends.
You might be thinking, “yeah it would be nice if I had that group, but I don’t so I guess I’m just outa luck.”
Not exactly, you get what you create. I’ve been around too many folks who just stop there. But please hear me, community is never pre-made. Community is never microwaved. Community is never just handed to you.
Build it. Take a risky step. Be the first one to make an invitation. Be the first one to share a level deeper. Be the first one to intentionally seek out others. Be the first one follow up and follow through. Be the first one to initiate the kind of community you want to experience for yourself.
The community you need to get out of the funk, to stay out of the funk, and to become the person you want to be is NOT just waiting out there for you. If you want community like that, you will have to build it.