I’ve often noticed a twisted pattern emerge in my thoughts and prayers; they are all magnetically being sucked into the same direction. In these spiraling times, almost every free moment of space in my head will end up in this place. When I clear off the desk of my thoughts to find what’s underneath, it’s just all about me.
Ugh! It’s embarrassing to admit that. More so, it’s exhausting to experience; me thinking about my frustrations, my tasks, praying about my problems, or my hopes, or my needs, or my insecurities, or my inabilities.
God absolutely cares about all of those things. And yet, instead of true dependence building prayer, I can create an insane exercise of spinning my wheels round and round but never getting anywhere. Have you felt that emptying exhaustion too? There is only one way off that treadmill.
Psalm 123:1 I lift up my eyes to you, to you who sit enthroned in heaven.
I found myself in that dizzying self-focused place recently and I heard a small whisper from the Spirit:
“Lift up your eyes, Craig. I hear your needs and desires and problems and wants. I genuinely care. But. Lift. Up. Your. Eyes.”
To Jesus, the One who has overcome the world, the One who is present now. I had an immediate exhale. The weight lifted. Finally it was no longer me whom I was dwelling on, but Him. Even if just for that moment.
You and I will never find the peace that transcends understanding if we focus inward. We must turn the eyes of our hearts upward and let Jesus, His goodness and His grace, be the thought and the prayer we return to over and over and over again.